Common Courtesy

Sometimes it is easy to say “I wouldn’t handle this situation the way you are handling it, this is what should be done.” Does it mean you need to say it? Does it make it okay to belittle someone for asking advice? I’m going to give an example of this:

There are some pet groups on Facebook, meant to help you when your pet is lost or help you find homes for pets you are no longer able to keep. In these groups it is not uncommon for  pet owners (or pet parents) to post photos of their pet, and any ailments they may have, looking for advice. Sometimes they are hoping for someone to tell them it isn’t serious and here is what you should do. Sometimes they are looking for help paying their vet bill. All of us need some help every now and then, right?

So one particular pet group had someone post in it today looking for advice on how to care for a spot on their pet that was oozing. There were many people offering advice, offering experience, and offering help. Sounds amazing, doesn’t it? A group of people from many different walks of life coming together to help someone.

Then you get people like Miss B. Her last name really starts with a B, I didn’t say that for sarcastic purposes. She decides to make a completely separate post:

“How many of us think of our pets as our children? All of us. We never post pics of our human children oozing, bloody, swollen, broke, fever, or anything else and asking ‘what is it or what do I do’ we just load up and go to Dr or ER right, well here is an idea do the same for your fur babies people just take that baby to the vet, they could be in extreme pain or it could be very serious.”

This was copied directly, I have kept the punctuation as is to avoid butchering her post, so I am not responsible for errors. While I do cringe when bad grammar and punctuation is used, I wanted to leave this to further make my point.

First of all, I would like to say that it is okay to have your own opinion. That does not mean that we should always voice said opinion. Belittling someone for needing help is not going to help them, and I am sure it did absolutely no real good to you either. Second of all, is it truly necessary to be so condescending? Not everyone has the option to take their furbabies to the vet. Not everyone feels the way you do either, though the first reply to this lady’s post was agreement:

“But that would be way too obvious and make too much sense!” -Miss H.

Okay. If you say so. Again I would like to point out that not everyone has the options you do. Not everyone has the ability to just take their pet to the vet for everything. Not to mention, if my child scraped her arm (providing it isn’t showing bone), most likely I am going to just doctor it at home. And maybe someone else might have a home remedy they like to use on scrapes, such as aloe vera from their very own plant. Maybe this person wouldn’t mind giving me some of that aloe vera to help me doctor my daughter. Not every affliction is an emergency.

When one person decided to take the defensive it was met with more condescension:

“It is so easy to judge when you aren’t in someone else’s shoes.” -Miss C.

Miss H. had a rebuttal:

“It’s so easy to say people are judging when they aren’t at all. It’s called sharing ideas.”

Okay, let me get this straight. It isn’t judging when it is blatantly said that another is wrong for going about something in a certain way, and saying how said person should do it? It isn’t judging when another person agrees with condescension?

I would hate to know what it would be like for you to really judge someone. Instead of making remarks that are meant to demean or condescend, offer advice or help. Kindness doesn’t cost anything and doesn’t cause pain. Being kind is not rocket science. It’s called common courtesy.